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My mother-in-law turned 72 last month. She's lived in Bangkok forever, speaks Thai like she was born here, knows every shortcut from Sukhumvit to Saphan Taksin. But last Tuesday? She couldn't get out of bed. Her hip was absolutely killing her.
She looked at me like I'd lost my mind. "How? Should I crawl there?"
Fair point.
That's when it really hit me. Bangkok has massage shops literally everywhere – probably more per square kilometer than anywhere else on earth. But what good are they if you can't actually get to them?
After three months of figuring out home massage through Iris for my mother-in-law (and making pretty much every mistake possible), here's what I learned about getting massage for seniors who can't – or shouldn't – leave home.
The Truth About Getting Old in Bangkok
Let me paint you a picture. The humidity makes your joints feel like rusty door hinges. The heat? Forget about it. Those sidewalks everyone thinks are "charming" with their random holes and wonky tiles? They're death traps when you're 70+ with dodgy balance.
The Numbers Don't Lie
My mother-in-law's building has maybe 50 people over 65. Guess how many actually go for regular massages?
Three. THREE.
Not because they don't need them – everyone's got something hurting. It's because getting there is just too damn hard.
Last month I watched her try to get in a taxi. It took forever. First, she had to psyche herself up for the step down from the curb. Then wrestling with the door (those old taxi doors are heavy). Then the gymnastics of getting in without bending her hip too much.
Yeah. They show up at your door with their table, oils, the works. No taxi wrestling, no walking on broken sidewalks, no sitting in some waiting room with the TV blasting Thai soap operas.
Safety First (Learned This the Hard Way)
Pre-Arrival Setup
My mother-in-law had potted plants, three pairs of shoes, and a stack of newspapers from 2019 blocking everything. The therapist handled it fine but watching my mother-in-law stress about the mess was painful.
Those pretty little rugs that slide around? Get rid of them. Temporarily, at least. My mother-in-law has this gorgeous silk rug that turns into a skating rink if you look at it wrong.
This isn't a romantic spa moment – seniors need to see where they're stepping. My mother-in-law kept trying to create "ambiance." I kept turning lights back on.
Have a solid chair nearby. Not for sitting – for holding onto when getting up or down. Trust me on this one.
The Medical Stuff You Have to Tell Them:
My mother-in-law takes blood thinners. Did she tell the therapist? Of course not.
"Why would they need to know about my medications?"
Because, mom, deep tissue massage plus blood thinners equals looking like you got in a bar fight. The bruising was spectacular. And not in a good way.
Now we have a list ready with all her meds, her hip replacement from 2018 that she "forgot" to mention, the arthritis in her fingers, and that spot on her lower back that's been weird since 1987.
Iris therapists are really good about asking the right questions, but having it all written down helps because seniors have this habit of deciding what's "important enough" to mention.
Making Traditional Massage Work for Bodies That Don't Bend Like They Used To
Forget the Floor
My mother-in-law gets her massage on her own bed now. The therapist adapted everything – different angles, modified stretches. No dramatic "getting down on the floor" scene that takes 20 minutes and sounds like someone's stepping on bubble wrap (that's her knees).
Side-Lying is Magic
Can't lie on your stomach? Cool. The therapist props her up with like four pillows, works one side, helps her turn carefully, works the other side. My mother-in-law says it's actually more comfortable than being face-down ever was.
Chair Massage for Rough Days
Sometimes even getting horizontal is too much. The therapist does the whole thing with her in her TV chair. Neck, shoulders, arms, even some leg stuff. All sitting down.
What Three Months Taught Me
Shorter sessions, more often: We switched from occasional 2-hour marathons to booking one hour twice a week. It's like medicine – regular doses work better than occasional mega-doses.
The temperature thing is real: Old people are always cold. It's a law of physics or something. Room needs to be at least 26°C, extra blanket on standby, and the therapist has learned to warm her hands first.
Oil makes them nervous: Her skin is thinner now, and regular massage oil made her feel like she was going to slide off the bed. We use light lotion instead.
Numbers beat vague questions: "How's the pressure?" always gets "fine" even if she's dying. Now the therapist asks, "If 1 is butterfly landing and 10 is elephant stepping on you, what number do you want?" Mom likes a 3. Maybe 4 on good days.
Red Flags That Mean Find Someone Else
We had one therapist who kept stretching my mother-in-law's hip even when she said it hurt. Never again. Now we're super clear upfront about limitations.
The Medical Stuff That Actually Matters
According to Siriraj Hospital's geriatric guidelines, here's what needs special handling:
Osteoporosis
No deep pressure on the spine or ribs. Ever. My mother-in-law has mild osteoporosis and we stick to gentle Swedish-style for her back.
Diabetes
Super gentle on the feet. Poor circulation means they might not feel if it's too much pressure.
Heart Issues
Limited time face-down. Affects breathing too much.
Arthritis
If the joint doesn't want to bend that way, don't make it.
The Stuff Nobody Mentions But Totally Happens
Is It Worth the Money?
Going to Spa
Two taxi rides: 300 baht
Massage: 800 baht
Stress & exhaustion: Priceless
Home Massage
Service: 1,000-1,200 baht
Travel: Zero
Nap immediately after: Priceless
Success Stories That Keep Me Going
Ready to Help Your Parent Feel Better?
Don't wait for the "right time." There's just now, when they need it, and later, when you'll wish you'd started sooner.
Book a Trial SessionThe WHO's healthy aging report talks about maintaining function as we age. For my mother-in-law, that means regular massage. For your parent, it might mean the same.
Yesterday my mother-in-law asked if we could go to three times a week.
Some things never change. But pain levels? Mobility? Quality of life? Those absolutely can improve. Even at 72, even in this chaotic city, even when leaving the house feels impossible.
Watching her move without holding onto walls now? Worth every single baht.
